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| Path: Main Street : Resources & Library : Research Articles : Feature Article |
How do you deal with a difficult board member?
By Liam Brown
May 5, 2008
Most nonprofit board members will tell you that at one point they had the misfortune of sitting on the board with a difficult person, someone who dominates discussions, intimidates other board members, is argumentative, shows up late, makes promises that go unfulfilled, and generally causes misery for the other members of the board.
Difficult board members can present a dangerous challenge to the cohesiveness and effectiveness of a board. Below, I have outlined some of the more colourful board member types along with some strategies you can use to deal with these individuals.
The bully
Bullies are dominated by using techniques of aggression (verbal, physical, emotional).When dealing with a bully:
- Hold your ground and look them in the eye.
- Don’t attack or argue (this feeds them).
- Get their attention by using their name.
- Repeat back to them your understanding of what they said.
- Don’t yell and argue back to them - but don’t give in; this simply reaffirms to them that bullying works.
Power trippers
These people think that they must be obeyed by ‘peons’. They feel like they have no control so they try to take it from others. The best thing to do if a power tripper is being abusive is to simply ignore them and refuse to engage. This strips them of their power over you.When dealing with a power tripper you will notice:
- They use titles or their experience to try to get people to listen to them.
- They are governed by insecurities.
- They have a need to feel important.
Unreliable people
These are the board members that don’t show up to meetings, fulfill their requirements, or pretend that they ‘didn’t know’ about something. The best way to deal with an unreliable person is to have a fellow board member (not staff) ask them why things weren’t done, meetings were missed, or other things that they may have done to drop the ball. Enforce accountability. They will either conform or leave.When dealing with an unreliable person:
- Recognize that they over promise and under deliver.
- Send them reminders (if it is worth the trouble).
- Get them to agree to things in front of others and document it.
- Have a fellow board member (not staff) ask them why things weren’t done, meetings were missed, or why they dropped the ball.
Sarcastic comedians
These are people that try to spite you by making offhand comments, trying to imply they are being funny.When dealing with a sarcastic comedian:
- If sarcasm pops up, stop what you are doing and say, “What are you trying to say to me?” It’s often enough to get them to shut up by putting them on the spot.
Show-offs
This is another type that is seeking attention.When dealing with a show-off remember:
- They need to be noticed, so notice them. It’s often enough to get a show- off to shut up.
Individuals who politic (backstabbers, gossips)
These are people who gain power by trying to destroy others.
If you hear that someone is saying something behind your back:
- Call them on it immediately and try to do it privately and in person. By doing so you are putting them on notice that it won’t be tolerated by you.
- They will deny it. Let it go. They will now be cautious of speaking about you behind your back.
- If you hear them doing the same to someone else in front of you, quickly change the subject.
As a board member, you are all there for the good of the organization and you have to remember that you can’t control personalities, but you can control how they get to interact with you.
Liam Brown is a member of Small Army Communications, a West Coast-based training firm that works with nonprofit and charitable groups across Canada and the USA. Visit www.smallarmy.ca for more information.
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