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| Path: Main Street > Resources/Library > Research Articles > Feature Article |
In fundraising letters, use present tense
By Alan Sharpe
May 25, 2009If you want your fundraising letters to sound more vigorous, get tense. The present tense, that is.
Listen to the sports news on the radio and you'll hear the announcer saying, "Tomorrow the Atlanta Falcons take on the Minnesota Vikings." The announcer doesn't say, "The Atlanta Falcons will take on the Minnesota Vikings." He doesn't say that they will, but that they do.
Same goes for scores. The announcer doesn't announce game results in the past tense by saying, "Atlanta defeated Minnesota, more on sports in 10 minutes," but instead says, "Atlanta defeats Minnesota, more on sports in 10 minutes."
Same goes for newspaper journalism. Read the captions under news photos. They don't say, "Barack Obama waved to fans from his campaign bus yesterday," but instead present yesterday's news in the present tense, "Barack Obama waves to fans from his campaign bus on Thursday."
Presenting tomorrow's possibilities and yesterday's news in the present tense makes news stories more forceful. Removing conditional phrases (can, may, might) from sentences also makes them stronger.
For example, a photo caption written in the present tense puts you, the reader, in the middle of the news story. Just consider the difference between "a man shot at children" and "a man shoots at children" and you see how much stronger the present tense renders your sentences.
Same goes for fundraising letters. Write in the present tense. Put your donor in the thick of the action. Don't write, "Your donation will reduce poverty" when you can instead write "Your donation reduces poverty."
Don't say, "We have used your recent donation to fund a new freshwater well in Namibia" when you can instead write, "We are using your recent donation to fund a new freshwater well in Namibia." Or, perhaps even stronger, "Your recent donation is funding a new freshwater well in Namibia."
Writing in the present tense and removing conditional phrases from your writing makes your fundraising letters more potent. I'm not talking about a tactic that can work or that that has worked. It is working. Right now. Just listen to the radio news, read the newspaper, or read a successful direct mail appeal letter.
Alan Sharpe publishes Direct Mail Fundraising Today, the free, weekly email newsletter that helps nonprofit organizations raise funds, build relationships and retain loyal donors. Alan is the author of Breakthrough Fundraising Letters and 25 handbooks on direct mail fundraising. Alan is also a speaker and workshop leader who delivers public seminars and teleseminars on direct mail fundraising. Sign up for Alan's newsletter at www.RaiserSharpe.com.
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