CharityVillage® Research: In direct mail fundraising letters, don't ask for the gift

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In direct mail fundraising letters, don't ask for the gift
By Alan Sharpe
September 28, 2009

My wife can still remember the name of her math teacher from grade four. You know why? Because he, um, paused every few words, and ah, ahhhhh, you know, ahh, added an ahh to what he was saying, ah, so that Ruth, was driven to, um, distraction.
You may be repeating his error in your fundraising letters by using the same word over and over again, a habit that is likely to drive your donors to distraction, which, nowadays, seems to be American Idol.
The offending word is "give" and its noun form "gift." Followed by its first cousin "donate" and its noun form "donation." If your donation request letters are typical, you repeat yourself throughout your letters by asking the donor to give or to donate, to mail you a gift or a donation.
My advice, which bears repeating, is to stop, um, repeating yourself so much. Juggle things up a bit. Here's how.
INVEST
Can you help us this year? Your investment of $25 helps one family. Your check for $50 helps twice as many.
CONTRIBUTE
Please contribute now with $25 to help one family with a beautiful, encouraging Christmas Hamper.
SUPPLY
Will you kindly supply the funds we need to buy one Christmas Hamper for a needy family?
SUPPORT
Please support our Christmas Hamper program now using the enclosed reply form and postage-paid envelope.
HELP
I'm asking for your financial help because 100 local families need a Christmas Hamper this year. Please send your gift today.
BUY
Your check for $25 buys joy for one family. Your check for $50 buys twice as much. You get the idea!
If you work hard at making your asks original, your donors will do something original in return. Give you a donation.
Alan Sharpe publishes Direct Mail Fundraising Today, the free, weekly email newsletter that helps nonprofit organizations raise funds, build relationships and retain loyal donors. Alan is the author of Breakthrough Fundraising Letters and 25 handbooks on direct mail fundraising. Alan is also a speaker and workshop leader who delivers public seminars and teleseminars on direct mail fundraising. Sign up for Alan's newsletter at www.RaiserSharpe.com.