The seven deadly sins of direct marketing writing
by George Smith
January 15, 1996; Canadian FundRaiser
- Polysyllables. Do you really want to utilize "utilize" rather than use `use'?
- Tautologies. the funniest ones are the most obvious - things like "first invented" and "Major nuclear disaster." Audiences loyally laugh at these. But they tend to peer a bit at things like "Mutual Agreement" and "Nothing further to add." What's wrong with that? One redundant word is what's wrong. If you have to think about it, it's all the more pernicious.
- Gobbledygook. Oh yes, you do - every charity does. Try your organization's Mission Statement. Could it survive as anything but a Mission Statement?
- Jargon. Come on, what exactly is "community development?" Or "resource implications?" and how many donors can decode "NGO"? Don't let the social workers write the copy.
- Dangling Participles. "As one of our most committed supporters, I wanted to write to tell you..." Nuff said!
- Autoblag. If your boss or your client is comfortable with your copy, it is probably under-achieving. How's that for heresy? But it's true. Remember what Orwell said about pasting long strips of words together. Remember the traditional brief "You know the sort of thing....." Fact is, you can get away with laziness most days and most weeks. But fundraising copy is not there to make people feel comfortable; it's there to provoke. Fight back!
- The Handy Cliché. Thus, the Truly Redundant Adverb - elegantly beautiful or beautifully elegant. Or the Bolt-on Adjective - why are resources always scarce and needs always urgent? You can have fun with this. Make a list of the clichés that pervade your organization. Then, decide to swat them like flies wherever they appear.
